Hello again my dear readers with broken hearts. :)
Today’s lesson is very important one. I intentionally didn’t put it as first step towards obtaining happiness after you had a painful break up, because I wanted to give you some basic ways to get you thoughts away from the main problem.
After couple of days, or weeks, practicing to direct your mind into thinking about books or TV shows, you are probably getting used to thinking less about your ex. In my own experience, the first days after a break up are pathetic and painful, but what comes afterwards is the real torture. This particular torture is what we tend to do to ourselves and it is called stalking the hell out of your ex.
I am not being judgemental; I completely understand the need of getting as much info as you can for the one you love. The problem here is – it doesn’t lead you anywhere! And, certainly, it’s not helping you. When we are blinded by our emotions, we are making stories in our heads that make sense only to us and which, most of the time, are not true.
The point of this post Think Less About Your Ex is to spot the main mistakes we make when we are sad, lost and depressed. Next point is to explain why these mistakes are simply not allowed and to motivate you to stop doing them and stop torturing yourselves.
We do not want to be stalkers! Why? Well, it’s really simple – your ex doesn’t deserve it! Going out where he/she goes, checking his/her Facebook profile or Twitter updates, searching his/her check-ins and asking people about you ex is a DISASTER for your healing process. Let me explain it better.
There are three possible scenarios that can happen and every single one will have negative effects on your broken heart.
First, and probably the worst, scenario is your ex to have another boy/girlfriend or extremely interesting life, while you are suffering because of him/her. In that case, every time you will open his/her Facebook profile you will find photos of the lovely new couple that will rip your heart over and over again. The better scenario would be if your ex is still singe. In that case, you will find photos of him/her partying and drinking cocktails. Seeing how someone is having the time of his/her life, while you are spending yours crying at home, will also make you feel sick.
The second scenario is very harmful and you should be very careful when it comes to this. If your ex is posting some love songs or motivational posters on the Facebook wall, you can easily start thinking that these are meant for you. If you get stuck in that web, you are really screwed. At the very moment your hope starts breathing again, you will never be ready to move on. If you have been left, then the best thing you can do for yourself is to completely ignore the person; if it is meant for you two to be together, then that person should be brave enough to admit the mistake in front of you and not post cute things on Facebook.
The last scenario is connected with psychological issues. I like to call it the destructive power of imagination. Let’s say your ex used to be very active on the social networks and after you’ve broke up he/she is not using them at all or uses them rarely. In this case, you are left alone with your imagination. Your brain will start to ask questions and provide the most painful answers, that not necessary are true. For example – if the question is “Why isn’t he/she posting on Facebook anymore?” The answer most probably would be “Because he/she is too busy enjoying life with his/her new lover.” Yes, that is going to happen and you will go crazy imagining things that are none of your business.
So, once I told you the disease and the consequences, now it’s time for the cure.
If you ex was a complete a-hole towards you, you should block him/her and get done with it right away. If you plan to act mature, then you should restrict his/her access to your profile and remove any notifications you get from his and his friends’ Facebook profiles. You should be strong willed and NEVER check his profile again. The less you know the better for you. Another important step is to remove his phone number from you contact list and delete all the messages he had sent you before. Same is applicable for you photos, but you can put them on some CD, since after you get over him you may want to have some nice memories from that period.
The point is – Think Less About Your Ex! He decided to remove you from his life and you should remove him from yours. Check again all The Steps HERE and wait for my next post.
Until then…
Stay strong!
Today’s lesson is very important one. I intentionally didn’t put it as first step towards obtaining happiness after you had a painful break up, because I wanted to give you some basic ways to get you thoughts away from the main problem.
After couple of days, or weeks, practicing to direct your mind into thinking about books or TV shows, you are probably getting used to thinking less about your ex. In my own experience, the first days after a break up are pathetic and painful, but what comes afterwards is the real torture. This particular torture is what we tend to do to ourselves and it is called stalking the hell out of your ex.
I am not being judgemental; I completely understand the need of getting as much info as you can for the one you love. The problem here is – it doesn’t lead you anywhere! And, certainly, it’s not helping you. When we are blinded by our emotions, we are making stories in our heads that make sense only to us and which, most of the time, are not true.
The point of this post Think Less About Your Ex is to spot the main mistakes we make when we are sad, lost and depressed. Next point is to explain why these mistakes are simply not allowed and to motivate you to stop doing them and stop torturing yourselves.
We do not want to be stalkers! Why? Well, it’s really simple – your ex doesn’t deserve it! Going out where he/she goes, checking his/her Facebook profile or Twitter updates, searching his/her check-ins and asking people about you ex is a DISASTER for your healing process. Let me explain it better.
There are three possible scenarios that can happen and every single one will have negative effects on your broken heart.
First, and probably the worst, scenario is your ex to have another boy/girlfriend or extremely interesting life, while you are suffering because of him/her. In that case, every time you will open his/her Facebook profile you will find photos of the lovely new couple that will rip your heart over and over again. The better scenario would be if your ex is still singe. In that case, you will find photos of him/her partying and drinking cocktails. Seeing how someone is having the time of his/her life, while you are spending yours crying at home, will also make you feel sick.
The second scenario is very harmful and you should be very careful when it comes to this. If your ex is posting some love songs or motivational posters on the Facebook wall, you can easily start thinking that these are meant for you. If you get stuck in that web, you are really screwed. At the very moment your hope starts breathing again, you will never be ready to move on. If you have been left, then the best thing you can do for yourself is to completely ignore the person; if it is meant for you two to be together, then that person should be brave enough to admit the mistake in front of you and not post cute things on Facebook.
The last scenario is connected with psychological issues. I like to call it the destructive power of imagination. Let’s say your ex used to be very active on the social networks and after you’ve broke up he/she is not using them at all or uses them rarely. In this case, you are left alone with your imagination. Your brain will start to ask questions and provide the most painful answers, that not necessary are true. For example – if the question is “Why isn’t he/she posting on Facebook anymore?” The answer most probably would be “Because he/she is too busy enjoying life with his/her new lover.” Yes, that is going to happen and you will go crazy imagining things that are none of your business.
So, once I told you the disease and the consequences, now it’s time for the cure.
If you ex was a complete a-hole towards you, you should block him/her and get done with it right away. If you plan to act mature, then you should restrict his/her access to your profile and remove any notifications you get from his and his friends’ Facebook profiles. You should be strong willed and NEVER check his profile again. The less you know the better for you. Another important step is to remove his phone number from you contact list and delete all the messages he had sent you before. Same is applicable for you photos, but you can put them on some CD, since after you get over him you may want to have some nice memories from that period.
The point is – Think Less About Your Ex! He decided to remove you from his life and you should remove him from yours. Check again all The Steps HERE and wait for my next post.
Until then…
Stay strong!
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